"If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done."
- Peter Ustinov
Friday, February 19, 2010
Crying in Shavasana?!
I never thought it would happen to me. I've heard about people having weired reactions to yoga (or massage) but it had never crossed my mind that yoga can make me cry (not from pain). I went to my hot yoga class today after a long break (replaced by stott pilates). I so needed to go! I've been feeling this stiffness all over my body so I planned my schedule around the lunch-hour class. I love the style of the teacher that leads the Friday classes and was looking forward to stretching my body in the hot room.
Well, the teacher had changed his usual routine and had incorporated some very cool dance-like move sequences, where you twist and turn around our own body ("dance bridges"). It's hard to explain, just imagine doing back bends balancing on one hand and the opposite foot and then switching sides while constantly moving. At first, I was afraid to attempt the sequence of moves but when I finally mustered the courage to do so I was surprised by how good and liberating it felt. It was just awesome! The flow of the moves was so soothing (although it took considerable core strength to do it) and after a while my body fell in its own rhythm. Here is what it looks like, just imagine rotating around your own body in this pose.
I was right in front of the mirrored wall and could see the excitement in my face. I even thought "wow, I look like a young girl during her ballet class". Long story short, the class was great and after 75 minutes of sheer joy I was SO ready to go into my last pose, the Shavasana. I love Shavasana, I always fall asleep in it. Well, not this time. As I settled onto my mat, wet body covered with my towel, and the lights went off, the teacher put this AMAZING music! Music that got right into a part of my 'inner self" that was so sensitive ... or maybe weak.. not sure exactly but a minute later tears started rolling down my face (and pooling in my ears, I hate that!)... I was floored... I didn't know what to do! I didn't know what triggered it, I was feeling so good up to that point. These were no tears of joy, they were sad tears but also tears of relieve... I wasn't weeping, I just had these rivers of tears and I didn't know how to stop them (or if I should even try to stop them). After few minutes the teacher came to put lavender oil on the back of my neck (he does this to everybody) and saw my tears (I was hoping he won't notice in the dark room or he'd think it's just sweat). But he did and he said "Good, don't keep it in".
I am a psychologist, I can give you million explanations of why I cried today but the truth is, I really don't know (could be my PMS). Was it some kind of a spiritual connection I made with the music that the yoga practice had facilitated? Was it that my body was super tense and the intense stretching the hot room opened up some channels (chi)? I don't know.
When I got out of the changing room the teacher was waiting for me and said:
"If you don't feel comfortable talking to me, make sure to at least talk to a friend about it"
me: "Really? Why? I felt great, I was just very tense and the class helped me release my negative energy"
teacher: " Hm, not really! It's not as simple as that. I can help you. That's what I do."
me: "Oh, you are a psychologist too?"
teacher: "oh, no, no, no. I do yoga"
me: "I don't understand, I just did your class?!"
teacher (putting a business card in my hand): "Call me and we'll start with sun salutations, we have a lot to talk about"....
and then he left
So, is there something I don't know about yoga? He sounded so mysterious but also so sure I had no clue about the important things in ... yoga?
My question to you: Have you cried during or after yoga?
BTW, here is the website of the yoga teacher. I checked it all - did not find any answers. I am definitely intrigued as to how he can help me and will talk to him again next time I go to his class. http://www.nicolasadeline.com/
I am 41, mom of 2 (one is 20 years old and the other is just 26 months)... I have a busy life, crazy career and a New Year's resolution to go back to running regularly. My specific goals are: 1) to run 1000+ miles in 2010 and 2) to run several 10Ks this year... or even a 1/2 marathon... I started running when I was 30 and was quitting smoking... Actually, I started power walking at first (that was the only way to deal with the cravings) and then shortly after I was so in shape that I started running... after about a year of running I got bad knee injuries and stopped ... now I want to go back thanks to the inspiration I got from my friend Anne (see my first blog for her incredible story ).